That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
