Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
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