Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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