so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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