I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize