when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
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