I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
