hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
How naked do you want me to be?
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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