he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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