More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
