Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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