I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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