yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
