she was so not down for the gang bang
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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