Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
