U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
