I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
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