i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Randomize
