As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
