Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Randomize
