I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
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