I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
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