pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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