im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize