I heard we made out
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Randomize
