I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Randomize
