Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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