I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
she told me i tasted like america
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Randomize
