ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
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