How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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