So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Randomize
