I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
