Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
