Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
