You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
