hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
