I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
