She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
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It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
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Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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