Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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