No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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