It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
