Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
