Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
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drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
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My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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