Apparently you make a good broom.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
You've changed since you got that strap on
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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