I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
