Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
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