Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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