You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
