remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
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