i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
