After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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