Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
