K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
