I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize