I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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