Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
When did angry sex become our thing?
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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