Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize