So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Wtf am i supposed to tell my kids when they ask about my first time? "Mommy got drunk off her ass and fucked a total stranger in another stranger's bedroom, then got abandoned by the selfish prick and walk of shamed to the nearest gas station to call a cab, but ended up passed out in a park in a pool of her own puke."
At least mommy was smart enough to use protection and hack into the asshole's facebook account.
Well of course. Mommy may be a slutty drunk but she ain't no idiot.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
