he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize