maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
