I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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