Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
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