I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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